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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9. 2007. 8:44AM (TOKYO, JAPAN TIME)

so tokyo is kinda nice i guess. i mean
i'm having a really totally awesome time and alls, but i think in some way i find tokyo just a wee bit disappointing so far.
even though everything here in tokyo is bigger-- their times square is bigger, their soho is bigger, their 5thave/57th is much MUCH bigger, their west village is bigger, their 27th street is bigger, and even their st.marks place is bigger--
it's so much like new york it's a little boring.

don't get me wrong now, it's an awesome amazing city and everything is beautiful and the peoples are super sweet, and everywheres you look are these innovative neato ideas and designs and concepts and whatnot (that newyorkers are simply way too stupid to come up with)
but there's just something about all of tokyo's western emulation that really irritates the shit out of me.

seriously now.
remember when i said i think i like seoul better than tokyo? well maybe that's not entirely true, because if i had to completely pick up and relocate, i would 100% without a doubt choose tokyo to live over seoul (mostly because clearly in tokyo all of newyork's convenient amenities are easily afforded, and especially because all the restaurants are ohmylord so gorgeous, even the little shitholes are enticing).

but there really is something about all the western worship that kinda works my every last nerve too. i mean like for example
take their st.marks place (which, funnily enough, they call "soho"). well

like i said, it's huge. and CROWDED ohmygawd it's unbelievably congested. and all up and down these jampacked corridors of soho are these cute little japanese boys and girls sporting ugly haircuts, bleached tresses, colored contacts, and bad ensembles. at least the boys seem pretty stylish (in comparison) i suppose, but the poor silly girls all look like bad madonna wannabees circa 1986.

and everywhere everywhere are advertisements and billboards and brochures and catalogs but all you see are cameron-diaz and gemma-ward or worse just bland blonde B models in every single photograph.
it's the marketing strategies that really tell you a lot about a certain culture ya know-- the disposable income demographic of the tokyo population only relates to western iconography? what kind of bullshit is that. (ohmygawd there's even an entire fashion label sold here in tokyo called "Barbie" and it's the fucking busiest section of the whole department store!)

oh and of course all of the dozens of thousands of stores are all gucci and prada and louis (oh my) and stupid idiot marc-jacobs. which might be okay, except that in tokyo (unlike seoul) all the clothes inside the stores are all exactly the same ugly shit you find in newyork. instead of a cooler more specialized eastern aesthetic-- which all those design house whores are more than happy to supply (as long as you request it. and are willing to plunk down the $150,000.00 PER SEASON minimum per order).
and then on top of all that nonsense, retail is 30% more expensive in tokyo too.

oh hey by the way, if you were from halfway around the world and you asked a newyork native where to go to find better cutting-edge shopping, wouldn't you be just a little bit pissed if they sent your clueless ass to fucking st.marks place? what the hells ??
[hmm then again, come to think of it, where WOULD you send someone ? there is no more SoHo as we once knew it, Charivari is gone, Bagutta is gone, BarneysPenthouse is gone. so ahhahaa maybe you woud send have to send them to fucking st.marks place. ugh gawd poor newyork, we suck.
oh but i digress]

anyways i guess my point is: in tokyo they emulate superficial pasty round eyed mutherfukkers so much it's utterly ridiculous; in seoul they emulate western culture too but only in so much as it nicely integrates with korean culture.
i guess that's why i say i lke seoul better.

ugh. yah so i'll stop babbling now. geezus christ

oh the other thing i wanted to tell about is that i'm kinda a teensy bit disappointed with theParkHyatt too.
i was soooo excited to see the Lost in Translation bar (you know the one-- where scarlet first meets bill and then later ana/cameron sings bad karaoke and then later later bill sleeps with the lounge singer) which is actually called "New York Bar" [mhmmp see what i mean? how fucking asinine is that?].

well NewYorkBar is much smaller in real life than on film and it isn't nearly as pretty either. plus they charge a ¥2,000 cover per person EVEN IF YOU'RE A GUEST OF THE HOTEL (lame lame oh soooo LAME). whatever-- call me a cheap stingy fuck if you like, but i swear for the amount you pay for a goddamned room at theParkHyatt, i think an extra ¥2,000 per person just to sit and have a drink is a total slap across your dumb sucker face. (ah. so. now i realize why it's called NewYorkBar)

OH but i should add ohmylord the room is fabulous!
uh yah and that's another thing-- how come bill/bob in Lost in Translation had such a small ugly crappy shit room? wasn't he supposed to be a really rich super famous aging actor getting paid a cool $mill just to pose for suntory?
i'm not trying to brag or anything (yes i am) but in comparison to billy-bob's suite, the room i'm staying in is like wow TOTALLY DOPE.

aww. yah speaking of which... [sorry! the rest of this entry appears only in PX This Too -- coming soon. ish]

• september 9, 2007 "lost in translation" • COMMENT on this entry (registration required)